Fiera Blog

10 Symptoms of Menopause and How to Treat Them

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Topics: sex, couples, aging, improving your marriage, relationship, Mind & Body, libido, menopause, health, desire, insomnia, sexual dissatisfaction, hot flashes, sexual heatlh, intimacy

Where to Have Sex

When I was a teenager, I used to babysit my cousins so my aunt and uncle could go out and have sex in the back of their minivan. I remember hanging out with my aunt while she prepared for one such outing. She lined the van’s backend with blankets and spritzed it with Calvin Klein’s Obsession. She raised one eyebrow at me and said, “Don’t tell your mom this is what we do when you babysit.”

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Topics: sex, better marriage, couples, relationship, marriage, Sex & Relationships, Maintaining the Spark, kids, Fiera Experts, desire

What to do About Changing Libido During Menopause

Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me.” That old Salt-n-Pepa song is probably not the tune stuck in your head when you’re going through menopause. And for good reason. Your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes—specifically a dip in estrogen and progesterone. Estrogen is the main female hormone and when it’s at a normal level, it helps to lubricate the walls of your vagina.

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Topics: sex, couples, relationship, lubricant, libido, menopause, marriage, Sex & Relationships, health, mindfulness, desire, intimacy

How to Maintain Intimacy When You are Not in the Mood for Sex

I have gone through several sexual dry spells in my lifetime. During these times, I was so uninterested in having sex that my partner would get worried and even slightly offended. And I was, too. Offended at my own body, that is. I mean, I love my partner and find him attractive so why did sex of any kind feel like a no-go? I didn’t even want to try to be turned on, if I’m being honest. My mind was elsewhere and my body just wanted to be left alone.

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Topics: sex, arousal, communication, marriage, Sex & Relationships, Maintaining the Spark, mindfulness, desire

Bringing Ritual Back to Relationships

I just read t his funny story about a couple’s weird little ritual and it got me thinking. I’m always dwelling on the things my husband and I used to do before having children, like eating out whenever we want, sleeping in on weekends, having sex all the time (well, it seems like that in retrospect).
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Topics: sex, arousal, romance, relationship, Mind & Body, marriage, mindfulness, desire, sexy

How Long Does Menopause Last?

I’ve gained a reputation as a menopause expert among my friends, and I get this question more than any other. It makes sense. When you’re in the throes of a hot flash or inexplicable crying jag, who cares why this is happening—when’s it going to end? Unfortunately, as with many things pertaining to women’s bodies (hi, pregnancy), the length and symptoms of menopause vary a lot. Some aspects, such as age of onset, can even be hereditary.

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Topics: sex after baby, aging, Mind & Body, libido, menopause, desire, insomnia, hot flashes

Dry Spells Are Normal

I’ll be the first to admit that I’m something of a black-and-white, all-or-nothing thinker—one little setback and suddenly everything’s all over. I have that dieter’s mentality where you succumb to one little cookie early in the day, and then, at that point, why not eat everything in sight and start again tomorrow?

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Topics: sex, couples, romance, relationship, Mind & Body, Sex & Relationships, desire, sexy

Sexual Compromise: What You Want vs What You Need

“We have a timing problem,” my pal Suzie said to me over coffee. She was complaining about her sex life. “He gets his intimacy needs met by having sex, and I want the intimacy up-front, as a sort of bargaining chip for sex.”

Fascinated by Suzie’s problem, I wondered first if it was a heterosexual thing—men getting intimacy through sex, women getting it before they’ll have sex. I wondered if it was a timing problem, as Suzie theorized. This argument, whether you wanted your intimacy as an appetizer or as a side dish, sounded familiar to me. I wondered if some couples solved it with compromise.

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Topics: sex, communication, relationship, Mind & Body, marriage, Sex & Relationships, Fiera Experts, desire

An Imagery Tool To Reignite Passion In Relationships


Recently, a client complained to me about her husband...

“I am so irritated by Sam. When I talk to him he always interrupts and makes comments that don't connect to what I am saying. He thinks he is being helpful, but he is not! I used to feel so in love with him that my heart would skip a beat every time he came into a room. Now I seem to be finding fault with everything he does, such as the way he talks to his mom on the phone and the way he does that little snort when he laughs—things I used to find so endearing. What happened?”

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Topics: communication, Sex & Relationships, Fiera Experts, mindfulness, desire

How to Speak to Your Wife About Intimacy

Dear Jane,

Can I talk to you about something? I’m a little nervous to talk to you about this. This is hard for me.

First, I miss you and I love you. I miss our time together where we can be intimately playful and vulnerable with each other. I miss the mutual satisfaction of a connection between us that only we can have. I miss our closeness both emotionally and physically. I miss our sexual connections.

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Topics: arousal, couples, aging, Sex & Relationships, desire
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