When I was a new mom, I dreaded the first time that my daughter said she hated me. I was sure it would break my heart and strip all of my maternal confidence away. Inevitably, it happened. She was coloring on a wall (as young kids do) and I told her to stop. In her little 4-year-old voice, she looked me dead in the eye and said it: I hate you.
Relationship discussions are not sparse, by any means. In every corner of the internet and in every coffee shop around the world, you’re bound to find people talking about love, what it means, and how to get better at it. But when it comes to women who are over 40, the resources seem to dwindle. Women who are no longer in their thirties should know everything there is to know about relationships, right? Hardly.
Adam D. Blum, MFT, directs therapy centers in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York City . And though he loves being a therapist and an entrepreneur, if you ask him about the very best aspect of his job, he will talk about working with couples.
Sex, though it appears everywhere from magazine covers to movies, is a taboo topic in our society for many reasons. One of these is the perception that talking about sex makes you too sexual (which is really not a thing, by the way). Another reason people find sex talk to be off limits is because we’ve been told to feel guilty or embarrassed about it—having it, wanting it, and even wanting it in a different way than you have it (or in a way that strays from what is considered “normal”).
“Let’s talk about sex, baby. Let’s talk about you and me.” That old Salt-n-Pepa song is probably not the tune stuck in your head when you’re going through menopause. And for good reason. Your body is going through a lot of hormonal changes—specifically a dip in estrogen and progesterone. Estrogen is the main female hormone and when it’s at a normal level, it helps to lubricate the walls of your vagina.
Guest post by Pam Costa, founder of Down to There
I believe we have a better chance of getting more of what we are looking for in our intimate lives when we are able to talk about sex. So I created Down To There Circles as a way for friends to have conversations about sex and relationships... to share stories and to be inspired by other's experiences.