Leah Millheiser, MD7/12/17
My biggest pet peeve is feeling ignored. My partner’s greatest weakness is not paying attention. I’m sure you can see how that makes for some annoying moments in our relationship. Actually, annoying is an understatement. It drives me crazy when I say something and get no response.
“The behavior of a human being in sexual matters is often a prototype for the whole of his other modes of reaction in life”—Sigmund Freud, Sexuality and the Psychology of Love
In the past 12 years that I have practiced female sexual medicine, I have had the unique opportunity to observe trends between women's personality types and sexual concerns. To better illustrate this point, I have made up a case of a woman with primary anorgasmia. This is when a woman has never been able to achieve an orgasm, not for a lack of trying.
Once the hamster wheel of the thing we call life finally slows down, it’s tempting to collapse in a heap and mentally hibernate till spring is over. But once the house is in order and the kids return to school after spring break, consider taking advantage of the quiet and turn your focus to recharging your relationship with your partner. By spending quality time together now you set a new direction for your relationship and a precedent for the rest of the year—and the many years—ahead.
Accordingly, we’ve put together a few tips to help revitalize your romance and mutual support in 2017.
I don’t like dogs, and I generally stay in the closet about it.
I’m pretty good at coming out. I’ve been out as gay for more than 25 years. I came out as a former sex worker in a national magazine. I have written about the challenge and value of coming out about being a writer.
Kristy Lin Billuni3/13/17
Of course couple’s therapy can help your sex life. Anything you do to improve communication with your sex partner will make the sex better. And couple’s therapy is all about improving communication.
When I was a new mom, I dreaded the first time that my daughter said she hated me. I was sure it would break my heart and strip all of my maternal confidence away. Inevitably, it happened. She was coloring on a wall (as young kids do) and I told her to stop. In her little 4-year-old voice, she looked me dead in the eye and said it: I hate you.
Relationship discussions are not sparse, by any means. In every corner of the internet and in every coffee shop around the world, you’re bound to find people talking about love, what it means, and how to get better at it. But when it comes to women who are over 40, the resources seem to dwindle. Women who are no longer in their thirties should know everything there is to know about relationships, right? Hardly.
Adam D. Blum, MFT, directs therapy centers in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and New York City . And though he loves being a therapist and an entrepreneur, if you ask him about the very best aspect of his job, he will talk about working with couples.